It's been almost a year since I wrote about "30 days of doing things differently" - my first "newsletter". WOWZER!!! I can’t believe how different my life is today than it was a year ago. And I can’t believe I’ve written almost every month over the past year.
Although I’m extremely proud of myself for my continued writing, I have to admit that I've been “beating myself up” for the past two weeks because I missed last month.
Last month I completed a 6-day Hypnotherapy Training Course at The Wellness Institute in Seattle.. The training was AMAZING and LIFE-CHANGING for me in so many wonderfully awesome ways. The problem is that, today - RIGHT NOW - I have NO idea exactly what that means or looks like.
I feel lost. My Ego feels lost. My Ego does NOT like to feel lost. It wants to know exactly where it is, what is happening, and what is going to happen next. It wants to feel "in control”. It wants my life to follow a straight line, with guaranteed stops, destinations, and experiences. When this doesn’t happen, it wants to run and hide. I feel like I’ve been hiding since I got back from Seattle 2-weeks ago and I’m coming out of hiding today.
How many times has this happened to you? How many times have you just wanted to run and hide? How many times have you felt lost because your life isn’t following a straight line with guaranteed stops and destinations?
I’ve known for a long time that it IS ok to not know exactly what is going to happen next in life. However, knowing that it’s ok to "not know" and FEELING ok with not knowing is completely different. I just want the uncomfortable feeling of "not knowing" to go away!
Sometimes, however, we all just have to go THROUGH uncomfortable feelings and times in our lives. We can do things to help us feel better, which is usually lots of self-care, yet there is no “magic” anything that will make our feelings go away.
I'm learning that part of the human experience is learning how to feel and experience our feelings without numbing ourselves with chemicals, food, work, or anything else. Right now I’m right smack dab of the middle of learning how to do this - and it's not easy.
I’m done “beating myself up”. I'm making it a point to really focus on my own self-care. And I'm realizing that when I take care of myself, I end up getting more done than when I sit around obsessing over what I "want" to get done.
It seems that a lot of people I know have been going through similar experiences lately. If this is happening to you, or the next time it happens to you. I invite you to take solace in remembering a few things: you're not alone, take care of yourself even when that feels like the hardest thing to do, and "this too shall pass" - as long as you go through....
Peace, Love, and Lots of Hugs!
KC Bushnell has been teaching Pilates for 17 years and has unknowingly been on a path of self-discovery just as long. The last decade of her life, self-empowerment has been at the forefront of her life everyday.